Tales and Stories from Skunk Hollow - “The Christmas Play”

    A wild and wacky Autumn moon rose full and bright over Skunk Hollow. Rolling meadows spackled sparsely with solid Oak and paisley parsley, and nary a soul can be seen. Wait... there is something, or someone... down there by that Juniper tree. Can you see? You have to look hard, maybe squint a little. No? OK, maybe we can zoom in on things (author magic). There... that any better?

    Why it’s a rabbit! What is he up to, I wonder.

    Danger Bunny had on a long nightshirt that reached past his knees, and a night-cap with pompom on the end. He carried a candle in a silver holder, and seemed to be looking intently for something. Everyone else had long since gone to sleep, except Chewy, who had been battling insomnia of late. Yet even he had enough sense to stay down in his burrow, and not go traipsing around in the dark. Must be something real important ol’ Dange was lookin’ for.
    Down by the lake, Shrimp-Squirrel was tossing about restlessly in the shallow water near the shore, making little rippling waves that washed up on the sandy beach. He too was having trouble sleeping.Dange wandered down near to the lake’s edge. He held the candle out in front, and saw his friend Shrimp-Squirrel wallowing in the moonlit water.
    “Yo... Shrimpy!” shouted Danger Bunny, hoping to be heard underwater. Shrimp-Squirrel wriggled to the surface, his face a curious blend of rodent and fish, and his curved body like an edible mermaid.
    “What’s up, rabbit?” asked Shrimpy, treading water.
    “Have you seen my notebook? I left it out last night, and I think someone swiped it.”
    “Nope,” said the little fish-squirrel, whipping his finned tail to stay afloat, “but I heard Psycho-Beaver mumbling something about a notebook this afternoon. I think he was talking about that pesky little boy that’s been hanging around. Do you think he took it?”
    “Lordy I hope not!” said Dange, “I sure don’t wanna have to go lookin’ for it in Man-Town!”
    “Word-up,” said Shrimp-Squirrel, always tryin’ to be cool, “that’s no picnic down there. Nosirree.”
    “Well,” said Dange, “goodnight there Shrimpy my man. No sense in looking any more tonight. Hope you can sleep.”
    “It would be the first night this week,” answered Shrimp-Squirrel.
    “Wonder what’s got into everybody?” mused Danger Bunny, as he loped back to his burrow. “People fussin’ around at night, can’t sleep. Somethin’ unusual is happening around here, that’s for sure.”
    Dange went back into his little underground home, and spent much of the evening reading some old Russian plays by Anton Chekov. He stayed up almost until the sun rose, which was unusual even for him, and very unusual for any other rabbit.

    Next mornin’ Dange crawled up out of his burrow, and looked around. First person that caught his eye was ol’ Bashful Bear, who was scratchin’ his-self on an old tree stump.
    “Hey Bash,” says Dange, lopin’ over towards him.
    “Hey Dange,” says Bear, swattin’ flies off his ears.
    “You seen that pesky kid Tommy around here lately?” asks Dange.
    “Nah,” says Bashful, “he ain’t been round here all week, near as I can reckon.”
    “Well,” says Dange, “ol’ Shrimp-Squirrel thinks the kid might a marched off with the script to the Christmas play, and there’s only one copy.”
    “Well,” says Bear, turnin’ over to scratch his other side,” we got rehearsal tonight, don’t we? Surely the boy will bring the script along, he’s probably jest studyin’ his lines.”
    “Well, nobody told him he could walk off with it,” says Dange, obviously disturbed. “I got work to do on it too. Lotta work. Well... later, Bash.”
    “Keep cool, there Dange,” says Bashful, “It’ll turn up I reckon.”
    “Yeah, well... it better.. “ Dange hardly heard him as he stomped off muttering to himself. The next place to go was obvious (if Psycho-Beaver hadn’t left for work, yet, that is). As it turned out, Dange caught Psycho just as he was hoofin’ it to the mill.
    “Psych, ol’ buddy,” yells Dange, “got a minute there?”
    “Course not,” says Psycho, who’s always early for work but always thinks he’s late. “Late for work again... what’s up, Dange?”
    “Shrimp-Squirrel tol’ me you saw Tommy walk off with the Christmas play script last night.”
    “Well,” says Beaver, “...didn’t actually see him take it, but he was carryin’ it around, he was. Say, how’s Shrimpy like livin’ on the lake? Does he miss his cage over at Farmer Big-Buckle’s place?”
    “He’s fine. Says the only thing he misses is the free food. He got real tired of bein’ gawked at by all those tourists.”
    “Well,” says Psycho-Beave, “he is the only Shrimp-Squirrel in the free world. But ya can’t blame him for wantin’ a little privacy. Anyways, Tommy the kid will show up tonight with the script... don’t sweat the small stuff, Dange. Gotta go, late for work.”
    Beaver scurried off to work, and Dange moved on. Well, he thought, that’s easy enough for Psycho-Beave to say, but he’s gonna be the first one to freak if the script isn’t there. We can’t be cancelin’ rehearsal neither,... too close to D-day. Dange walked on feelin’ gloomy. He had planned to work on a part of the script that was particularly weak, but it wasn’t worth messin’ with man-town. A thoroughly bizarre place by any standard, thought Dange, pullin’ on his ears. He began to imagine rehearsal without the script. Psycho would wind up in a brawl, Chewy would wander off and eat a tree, and Panic Pigeon, well... she’d do just that!
    Anyway, Dange decided to eat some breakfast and then head down to the stage area, which was still under construction. He passed Panic Pigeon on the way to Toady’s Coffee Shop, and knew at once the news was out.
    “No script, oh my gosh, play is ruined, thewholethingisgoinstraightto......” Panic jabbered this and more as she scurried across the path and into a bush.
    “Oh boy,” said Dange, “you can bet she’ll have the whole town in a panic by tonight.”
    Apparently though, she hadn’t been out to the stage site yet, because there were several villagers working on it, and they seemed fairly calm. The townsfolk were really pitchin’ in this year, and most of Skunk Hollow’s animal population as well. This was actually the only time of year the animals and the humans got along fairly well. Psycho Beaver and his relatives cut down the necessary amount of trees, and Chewy did some of the detail work. Bashful was unmatched for simple grunt-work, and Dange of course mostly supervised, whether his opinion was asked for or not.
    Stage is comin’ along great, thought Dange. He smoothed his ears out and stepped onto the 10’ by 20’ platform, and watched as Harried Hen squawked orders to a village woman concerning the hanging of the stage curtains. Yep, lookin’ good, Dange thought. All but the script, that is. He couldn’t imagine why Tommy would take it, so he asked the villagers, but noone had a clue.
    “We’ll be wingin’ it tonight,” muttered Dange to nobody in particular, “And it’ll be real interesting, that much is for sure.”
    Dange had told everybody at Toady’s to be at rehearsal by 5:30, except for those who worked a bit late, like Psycho. Although the townsfolk were helpin’ out, it was strictly an animal play... no people allowed. Just too hard to coordinate the two, language barriers and such. Hard enough to communicate the stage construction. Anyway, the animals just wouldn’t go for a mixture on the set. Let the humans do their own play.
    Everybody showed up on time that night, except Psycho, and unfortunately, Tommy. Dange said he could remember enough of the script to direct, but nobody looked particularly comfortable with that. Dange decided they would work on the Manger scene, and they set it up as quickly as possible. They had to wait for Psycho Beaver, because he was one of the Three Wise Men. Harried Hen was the young Virgin Mary, and Chewy was Joseph, her husband. The other two Wise Men were played by Bashful Bear, and Chuckles the Chicken. The Innkeeper was of course Toady, who was also late due to lingering customers, and for the part of the precious baby Jesus, the Christ Child... Who else? Little Shrimp-Squirrel of course! Fit right into the little bassinet that Harried Hen brought. All swaddled and cute, if a might twitchy. The overall effect was... why completely hilarious, except it wasn’t supposed to be a comedy. Dange saw the humorous aspect of this odd hodgepodge of characters, but he had to work with what was available. He tried not to even imagine the scene with Santa and the reindeer. Chewy the red-nosed woodchuck? Oh, Mary!
    At last Dange gave up on Tommy, and began to set up the Manger scene. Everybody took their places without any problems, and Dange set up the scene. He told everyone what their character was about, and urged them all to ad-lib their lines, keeping it all as simple as possible. With that done, Dange stepped offstage to watch the action, and the first take of the Manger scene began.

    Toady stood at the door of his “Inn”, as the “two” Wise Men approached (Psycho-Beaver still hadn’t showed). Chuckles ad-libbed the first lines.
    “Lookin’ fer Shrimpy.”
    “Baby Jesus! .. The Christ Child!” prompts Dange from the wings.
    “Right.. hee hee.. sorry,” chortled Chuckles, “Jesus, the human God-baby.”
    “Inna barn,” croaks Toady. “No room inna Inn.”
    “Thanks,” says Bashful, and off they lope to the Manger scene. This is setup by removing the door that signified the Inn, and pushing the basket with Shrimp-Squirrel in it onto the stage. All swaddled up but his head, he looked like a normal squirrel. It was his lower half that was fish-like.
    “Blessed art thou, Mary, mother of Jesus, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,” yammers Chuckles to Harried Hen, who is trying to look like a Madonna. This wasn’t the right line by any means, just something Chuckles had heard in church. Dange shook his head and tugged at his ears, yet he knew it could be a lot worse.
    Psycho showed up just then, and got mad that they had started without him. He started to get into it with Chewy, sending Shrimp-Squirrel into convulsions. Panic Pigeon appeared out of a bush, yelling some nonsense about a mob coming. Harried Hen tried to calm Shrimpy by rocking the bassinet, which tipped over and dumped him onto the stage floor.
    “Yep,” said Dange, “a whole lot worse!”
    As it turned out, Panic Pigeon wasn’t just babbling. The whole of Man-Town had come to watch rehearsal, and with them little Tommy. He had taken the script to show it to the town’s Minister, who had offered up a few ideas and corrections. Dange made him promise not to take it again without permission.
    Shrimp-Squirrel was returned to his basket, and the play resumed, with Dange prompting the characters, script in hand, and feeling a might more confident. It went fairly well this time, although the Song of Praise at the end of the scene was a bit off, particularly when Toady joined in. The townsfolk thought things were going well, and gave the cast a resounding round of applause. Dange decided to run through the sled scene and then call it a night. He had decided to play Santa himself, since noone else could be trusted to steer the sled. The sled itself was real, donated by the villagers. It was set up off to the side of the stage, and the idea was to actually have it move a ways. This would have to wait, however, until it hopefully snowed. For now, they would fake it.
    The whole cast, of course, would have to be reindeer, and then some. Chuckles, Bashful, Psycho, Chewy, and anyone else they could round up, since the sled was huge and very heavy. Everyone got into harness OK, but then the logistic nightmares began. Chewy took up the lead, with his fake red nose. Then Bashful and the assorted pigeons and chickens, followed by Psycho and Pete Porcupine. Shrimp-Squirrel and Toady road in the sled with Dange, since they wouldn’t be much help with pulling it. The first problem was that there were only a few feet actually touching the ground, due to the size variations. The chickens and pigeons were strung up like Xmas lights, dangling above the grass with their feet kicking. Everyone would have to be arranged according to size, Dange realized. He stepped out of the sled to accomplish this, when all hell broke loose.
    Pete accidentally bumped into Psycho, pricking him in the butt. Psycho swapped Pete with his paddle-tale, resulting in a flurry of porcupine quills, sticking not only Psycho, but two of the chickens as well. Pandemonium resulted, with everyone pulling in every possible direction, and finally tipping the sled over, nearly crushing Panic Pigeon, who was running frantically in and out of the scene, around the legs and claws of everybody, and screaming hysterically. Toady hopped off in time, agile enough to land on his feet, while poor Shrimp-Squirrel was tossed roughly to the ground, for the second time in one night!
    The townsfolk, although sympathetic, found all this too much to resist, and broke into general laughter. Dange gave up on the whole mess, and sat on the ground with his head in his hands. It was decided to call it a night.

    Two weeks and ten chaotic rehearsals later, the fateful day grew near. Next Thursday evening was D-day. Now almost noone could sleep, and Panic Pigeon was out of her mind, as was Harried Hen, and Frantic Fowl. Dange was pretty much resigned to whatever cruel or fortunate fait awaited him. Down at Toady’s Cafe’, all talk was of the play, and everyone gave much credit to ol’ Dange for even attempting something so risky. Why, this could cement relations between Skunk Hollow and Man-Town for years, or make a laughing stock out of the whole crew, if it hadn’t already. So, nerves were on edge, but spirits were high as the big day approached.
    The hens were working on costume changes, but everyone else had the next two days off. Dange thought if he gave ‘em all a rest, then did one final rehearsal, that would about do it, as much as it could be done that is. So those not working went up to Chewy’s meadow for a picnic, while Dange went over the script again.
    The following day, Dange took it easy too, wandering up over Bearskin Hill and avoiding everyone he could. He tried to see the whole picture, but he mostly felt nervous.
    “Well, it’s almost out of my hands now,” Dange muttered, wishing he could believe that. It was on his head, and he knew it.
    But the day of final rehearsal went off smoother than anyone could have imagined. The sun shone, everyone remembered most of their lines, and spirits rose as the performance almost seemed possible. Afterwards, everyone went down to Toady’s to celebrate, but not Dange. He felt so relieved he went right back to his home, and fell asleep within a few minutes. On Wednesday, the whole cast walked around reciting their lines, while the squirrels, including old Squeaky, delivered little flyers to the town. That night, it began to snow. This meant the sled might even move, and the whole mood would be downright Christmasy!

THE SHOW

    A light snow was falling the day of the Skunk Hollow Christmas Play. Spirits were very high, and everyone was excited, and of course nervous. There were two sets of bleachers, one for people, and the other for the denizens of Skunk Hollow. This wasn’t out of animosity nor prejudice, it was a practical maneuver. I mean... for instance, who’s gonna set next to Stinky, and his cousins. And skunks weren’t the only problem neither... there were porcupines, large and clumsy bears.. small little chipmunks, even smaller crickets and frogs... I bet you’re getting the idea.
    So the stage was set, and around three the townsfolk started arriving. They were bundled up, but it wasn’t really too cold. Refreshments were shared, and hot cider passed around. Then, about 4:15, just after sunset, the stage lights went on, the curtains parted, and out stepped Danger Bunny, dressed as formal as his wardrobe allowed. He walked to the edge of the stage, tapped the mic, and the crowd grew quiet.
    “Ladies and Gentlemen, Chipmunks and Squirrels (this drew a ripple of laughter), welcome to the Skunk Hollow Annual Christmas Play. At least we hope it will be a yearly event, and someday even an honored tradition. We also hope it will be remembered as a time when the animals of Skunk Hollow gave something to the town, and the town felt enriched by the experience. And so, without further ado... I give you.. the Skunk Hollow Players!”

    Dange walked gracefully backwards off the stage, bowing and gloved hand outstretched. The curtains, which had closed, now opened again. The scene began with Harried Hen and Chewy seeking shelter at Toady’s Inn, to give birth to the blessed baby Shrimp-Squirrel Jesus. Toady remembered his lines, and things went well. The rejected Holy couple padded and clucked offstage, and the three “Wise Men” appeared. Toady sent Chuckles, Bashful Bear and Psycho-Beaver off to the stable, which appeared as soon as the door was pushed aside. And there in the manger, in his little bassinet, lay Shrimpy, just as cute as a button.
    The Wise Men left their gifts and blessed the little baby Jesus, and then all began to sing a lovely Christmas song, a bit from Handle’s “Messiah”, and the townsfolk joined in. Things were really going well, and you could see the relief on ol’ Dange’s face. Noone had even needed any prompting from him.
    Yes indeedy, it was going fine. They moved through a few more minor skits and songs, including a beautiful rendition of “Oh Holy Night” performed by Harried Hen, backed up with a powerful chorus of hens, chickens and pigeons, and then the lights were turned onto the sled, which had been prepared offstage, unbeknownst to the crowd. The “Reindeer” were hooked up in a workable order this time, with all feet on the ground, and there in the sled, in a great looking Santa suit, was Dange. The idea, since the sled would actually move in the fresh snow, was to pass in front of the bleachers, and Dange, Toady and Shrimpy would throw presents to the crowd.
    A great idea, were it not for a certain mischievous little tike named Ralph, who had secretly brought his slingshot, and without further ado, launched a stone right at the reindeer. He caught Chewy on the nose, which made him look a lot more like Rudolph! Chewy swerved to the right, pulling Psycho-Beaver, and then the rest of the team along with him. Right into the bleachers they plowed, the bleachers that held the towns-folk, including bad little Ralph. What followed cannot even be described. People are emotional enough, but animals are downright chaotic once aroused. There were several minor injuries, and some horrible confrontations between man and beast, beast and beast, woman and skunk, etc. Finally all the lights were extinguished, and the crowd slowly dispersed in rage and disappointment. In all fairness, there were a few, mostly children, who found the ending quite delightful.
    Dange, and most of the cast were shattered. Chewy and Psycho were too angry to be depressed. Shrimp-Squirrel had to be put back in the water, due to massive convulsions. Only little Tommy stayed behind, and fortunate this was, because he learned what had caused the fiasco. He promised to find out who the culprit was, but noone cared much, as the damage was done.

    The next day was to be the day when everyone went up to Chewy’s Meadow to decorate the giant pine tree, a time honored tradition. And by mid-afternoon, most of the animals had sauntered over. There was little talk, and it was a gloomy affair. Noone even glanced in the direction of man-town, although the townsfolk were expected to join in. Dange knew better than to try to cheer up the animals, and he too worked in gloomy silence. Then suddenly, Chewy shouted to Dange to look where he was pointing. Dange looked up, and there, coming up the path, was little Tommy, followed by the entire village! It turned out that Tommy had done some inquiring, and mean little Ralphy was soon a suspect. It took a bit of prompting, but he eventually confessed, and the Townsfolk spent the morning in conference, until it was resolved that there was no reason to blame the animals whatsoever.
    Yes, a few noses had been bitten, and one arm broken by a clumsy bear, but the animals had suffered too. Panic Pigeon had been stepped on several times, and someone had kicked both Chewy and Chuckles the Chicken. Chewy had of course retaliated with a ferocious bit of nipping, and Psycho-Beaver had gone bizerk. Yet the real culprit had been discovered, and the play had been superb up to that point, so the villagers decided to forgive, and eventually forget. And so, the Skunk Hollow Christmas Play did become an annual event, and the animals and humans were brought closer, which in the end was a good thing for everyone.

    And noone was more pleased than good ol’ Danger Bunny, who had worked so hard, and taken such risk. He continued to direct the Christmas Play for many years, until he passed on his abilities to his beloved son, who was named... what else? Reckless Rabbit! But that takes us into another story, and this is the end of this one.

THE END
copyright 1997-2005
Penrose (W.S.Rose)